Got Milk?

Last month heralded the return of America’s favorite past time and I welcomed the official start of the 2008 Major League Baseball season with open arms.

I exchanged e-mails and phone calls with friends and family about the Red Sox getting their second set of World Series rings in four years (truth is, I didn’t think I’d ever live to see even one championship).

Apart from the usual “Gotta beat the Yankees” stuff, one text message I received from a female friend, who was at the Astros season opener caught my eye. Here it is, word for word:

“OMG new blog topic. Is it appropriate 2 nurse ur baby @ the ball game in front of hundreds? What should I heckle?”

Okay, I’m thrilled that my friends are on the lookout for blog-worthy topics. I am however a bit concerned that this particular person assumes there is an appropriate breastfeeding heckle and that I would know what it is!

Intrigued by the notion of a breastfeeding blog, I thought a little research was in order. Here’s the scoop. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the U.S. breastfeeding rate has hit its highest mark in at least 20 years with 77% of new moms nursing their infants. One CDC spokesman said, “It looks like it is an all-time high”, based on CDC surveys since the mid 1980’s.

Hold on a second here. Though I’m not an expert, I’ve got some problems with that last statistic. Looks like an all-time high… since the mid 80’s? Seriously? What about the days when there were no bottles, no state-of-the-art breast pumps and no formula? Wasn’t breastfeeding at an all-time high back then?

As I continued my research, I discovered how many different social issues are currently out there concerning breastfeeding. I learned that some women have created a new term called “lactivists.” These woman fight for the right to nurse wherever they need to. Just such a fight broke out in a Victoria’s Secret store in 2005 when a “lactivist” mom was asked to use the restroom to feed her child. Anyone else seeing the irony here?

I also read an article that quotes the American Academy of Pediatrics literally recommending that nursing moms should keep their babies close by. Really? Unless you happen to be Dolly Parton, is there some other way to accomplish this task?

Here are some of the most common breastfeeding questions women are facing: What is proper public breastfeeding etiquette? Is half formula/half breast milk a good compromise for the working mom? Do breastfed babies really sleep better through the night?

While these are all valid and thought-provoking questions, I thought I’d focus my attention on the most controversial issue:

How long should you breast feed your child?

Several health organizations suggest mothers breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. At that point they can add other foods, while continuing to breastfeed until the baby is one year old, or older. But how much older? What may be perfect for one, may not be far from perfect for another. Unfortunately, some parents are missing all the signs. But that’s what I’m here for.

There are at least 12 people associated with this blog who are either pregnant, have a pregnant spouse or have had a child in the past year. Last week I had lunch with three other guys (all in this group), and in efforts to shed some clarity to an otherwise murky issue, we came up with some helpful tips for moms trying to figure out when to stop breastfeeding.

I’m not going to give up the names of my co-conspirators, but never underestimate what can happen when one is chugging down a Frosty at Wendy’s.

Lastly, this blog isn’t as full, robust or ample as some of the other blogs I’ve posted. A couple of you have firmly complained that sometimes there’s just too much. An over-abundance, if you will.  You know, blogs come in all shapes and sizes. Some blogs are small and perky and some are unfortunately over-stuffed and artificially enhanced. Though it is not my intent to titillate, I am well aware that bigger doesn’t always mean better. Here we go…

Top 10 Clues to Knowing When to Stop Breastfeeding: 

1. If your child undoes your blouse, unsnaps your bra and then asks, “Got Milk?”… It’s time to stop.

2. If your child leaves a tip when he is done… It’s time to stop.

3. If your child addresses you as “Hey baby”… It’s time to stop.

4. If your child lowers the light, flips on some Barry White and gives you a little wink… It’s time to stop.

5. If your child has a full set of teeth… It’s time to stop.

6. If there is a line of neighborhood children forming behind your child… It’s time to stop.

7. If your child starts accidentally practicing his trumpet lessons while breastfeeding… It’s time to stop.

8. If your child recommends a “breast enhancement”… It’s time to stop.

9. If your child asks if the breast milk comes in different flavors… It’s time to stop.

10. If your child starts looking for an expiration date while feeding… It’s time for a bottle!

 

As always, feel free to add anything I’ve missed, or purposely left off…