7 Things I Love/Hate About American Idol

As we celebrate the end of Season 7, I thought tonight’s finale on a little show called American Idol could use some hype and exposure – so I thought I’d share an opinion or two. In all seriousness, I’m expecting Tuesday and Wednesday night’s viewership and vote totals to go through the roof.

It may be the best finale ever: David the Romantic vs. David the Rocker.

I first started watching American Idol after I had to cover the Season 1 Finale between Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini for a TV Guide Editor’s Pick of the Night. I hadn’t watched an episode before that night… and I’ve been a fan since, though it seems I only watch every other season pretty closely. I guess I love a lot of the show…  and hate some of it too. Let’s see if you agree or disagree. Here we go…

7 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL:

1. CARRIE UNDERWOOD: SMALL TOWN GIRL… BIG TIME DREAMS. Have you ever been to Checotah, Oklahoma – population 4,000? Carrie was a long, long way from Hollywood glitz and glamour. I love how American Idol gives people the opportunity of a lifetime. The show gave Carrie Underwood an opportunity – and she hasn’t come back to earth since. She’s a multi-platinum selling, three-time Grammy Award winner – and the first AI winner to sweep Billboard Music Award, American Music Award and the Grammy Award in the same season. Girlfriend can sing. She’s introduced country music to a brand new audience – and best of all, my buddy Barlow has touched the “small of her back” and he now has reason to continue living.

2. JENNIFER HUDSON: DREAM GIRL. As I previously stated, American Idol gives you an opportunity – and it’s up to you what you do with it. I love that you don’t have to win AI to be a success. Heck, you don’t even have to be a finalist. I love what Chris Daughtry is doing  - but you can’t miss Jennifer Hudson’s meteoric rise to the top. Jennifer was a Season 3 contestant that didn’t even make it to the Top 12 – and was brought back by Randy Jackson in a wildcard round! She ended up finishing 7^th that year. When life gave her lemons, she won a SAG Award, a Golden Globe and an Oscar for her performance in Dreamgirls. Her highly anticipated debut album comes out in September and she will be in three movies within the next year (Sex and the City, Winged Creatures and The Secret Life of Bees).  Her new single “Spotlight” will be on the Sex and the City soundtrack. Hudson is proof that talent and perseverance prevails… and you don’t have to be a size 2 to make something of your life in an annoyingly materialistic industry.

3. I UMMM… WATCH IT WITH MY WIFE. Idol is the only show that I hear guys always referencing it as “watching with their wives or with their kids”. While that may be true – I can’t tell you how many Idol conversations I’ve walked in on where there were no women or kids anywhere in sight. It’s a cool enough show for guys to discuss. Sex and the City is as well… or so I hear.

4. GRACIOUS CONTESTANTS. Last week’s result show documented the hometown visits for the three finalists. I loved the fact that all 3 of them were moved to tears in front of hometown crowds showing them the love. It appeared that they were in genuine awe of their sudden stardom, were graciously taking it all in and humbled by the experience. Hopefully, they never forget their roots and their fans that have helped get them this far.

5. YOU CAN SING, BUT CAN YOU PLAY? Love the fact that AI has allowed contestants to perform with instruments this year. Musicians like it because it’s no longer just a singing contest – and it shows off their musical chops.

6. WILLIAM HUNG: HE BANGS. Has humility ever done so much as it did for William? After Simon blasted him with “You can’t sing, you can’t dance, so what do you want me to say?”, America fell in love with his “I already gave my best, and I have no regrets at all” response and a cult following began. I think I love Hung cuz T-bone Robkoff actually gave me his first album for Festivus. True story. Finally, somebody with a worse voice came along that I could actually sound like. I performed Hung’s She Bangs at a wedding I was DJing – and it was pretty wild. I nailed the Hung dance and vocal impersonation. Whether it was considered “successful” is relative.

7. SIMON SAYS. Simon is the only judge I understand… and he’s British. I need subtitles for Randy (sorry Dawg, you’re still molten lava hot – hot baby! Yeah! ) See, you don’t understand that ether. Paula is on my next list – which leaves us with Mr. Cowell. He’s the “Big Hook” on the show and always delivers. The guy also knows what it means to be at the top – and at rock bottom. He knows the world (and especially the music industry) can be a cold hard place, and tries to prepare the karaoke singers ahead of time. He knows what he’s talking about and I find myself usually agreeing with him. So, he’s rude, mean and sarcastic – but every contestant waits with baited breath for his criticism… and there’s something to be said for that.  At this point in the game – you know what you’ve signed up for if you step foot in his domain. No surprises.

7 THINGS I HATE ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL:

1. STRAIGHT UP… PAULA ABDUL. I don’t hate Paula the person. I just hate hearing comments such as, “You look like a star up there”. Paula, we all know that’s code for “I’m trying to find something nice to say cuz that was a terrible song choice, and an even worse performance”. Last time we checked, it was a singing competition – so please JUDGE the singing and stop the incoherent babbling. It’s not a beauty contest. By the way, I think it’s fair to assume that Paula shared her drugs with Jason Castro this season. What a train wreck those two were.

2. THE VOTING SYSTEM I think I have a better idea. Until we get to the bottom 3 finalists, why not VOTE OFF the person you want to see go home? If 12 people just performed, you’ve got to vote 11 times to really say “Person #4’s gotta go”. The question was rhetorical. The reason is because numbers don’t lie, and advertisers and the like can be wooed by big numbers. I’m sure there’s a lot of money being exchanged with every text, and every call. I don’t care for the system. I would also like to see the judges get a percentage of the final vote. Maybe 25% or so. Perhaps they can bring some sanity to the madness and help eliminate the notion that AI is a popularity contest.

3. DON’T TALK BACK. I really hate this one. If you’re a contestant and you’re getting criticized by Simon – keep your mouth shut. If you want to prove him wrong, listen to him and bounce back next week (if you survive). This guy may have single handedly made you a household name. Remember what you’d be doing if you were not on this show. Keep quiet, and go review the tape before popping off. I remember one year when country boy/Marine Josh Gracin challenged Simon to come up to the stage to do push-ups. Dude, act like you’ve been there before. Historically speaking, the voters usually follow Simon’s lead.

4. I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT. After losing to Ruben, Clay Aiken got a big-shot lawyer to get him out of his management contract that kept him with Fuller, the owner of American Idol – for years to come at a very high commission. Clay, stop acting like a diva, dude. You were a choirboy before the competition. Read the fine print before you audition next time. Wow, people can get greedy pretty fast. I know Clay’s not the only one – he just seemed to fit the word “diva” perfectly.

5. AND STRETCH, AND STRETCH… How long does it take to say, “After last night’s record breaking 86 gazillion votes, the person going home tonight is… so and so”. Does the results show really have to be an hour long every week? I know, I know – advertising money. And why is AI making them sing the same song that America voted them off with as their sayonara?  Here’s what Seacrest should really say. “I know America hated it, and now you’re going home because they hated it… but ya mind singing it again? We’ve got 4 more minutes to fill…”

6. THE DISAPPEARING ACT. Where is Ruben? Where is Taylor Hicks? Where is Katharine McPhee? All I keep hearing is that the Labels keep releasing these peeps. How can that be? They had the world on a string not that long ago. Anyone, Anyone? I think Ruben ate Taylor.

7. FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY. Do not watch this movie. I had to go through the EPK (Electronic Press Kit) for sound bytes and clips – and it was the worst idea ever. Only Olivia Newton-John is happy because this was worse than Xanadu. Somebody owes me 2 hours… and I guarantee I will never get them back. From Justin to Kelly brought in a whopping $5 million at the box office, proving that Idol fans will almost do, and see anything for their faves. They will not go spend another $5 million on rentals and DVD purchases to get it to break even from its $10 million dollar budget. Even the zealots know where to draw the line. Consider yourself warned.

What will happen on Wednesday night? Who will be the next American Idol? Who will sell more albums? Whose album would you buy? What do you Love/Hate about Idol?